Roads

I love the names of roads. Names like Breakneck Road and Good Intent Road make me smile. They're kind of one in the same though. "Hey. How do I get to this particular place?" "Oh you're going to have to take Breakneck Road. But be careful." It's like the road tells you to beware anyway. Intentions were good when this road was named. However, it wouldn't be fair to name a road Smooth Cruising Road and then put speed bumps halfway down the road. Then it would have to be called Smooth Cruising Until You Reach The Speed Bumps Halfway Down The Road Road. But that's just not practical. Plus by the time you finish reading the sign, you'd probably be hitting the first speed bump, doing like 65 mph. What about Good Intent Road though?

EXT. SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT - DAY

There is a huge pothole with orange cones and barriers around it. A reporter is on the scene.

REPORTER

I'm standing here hole-side with Officer Ballanskey. This pothole is so massive you could fit like seven elephants in it. Don't ask me why I know that. So officer Ballanskey, if you could, give us a run down of what happened exactly.

OFFICER BLANKSKEY

Well, I was patrolling the area. It's part of my standard routine. It was raining pretty hard. So, I decided to park right over there in that lot.

REPORTER

Conveniently right next to a Dunkin Donuts. Since we're on the subject of holes, do you like donut holes or do you prefer the whole donut?

OFFICER BLANKSKEY

Umm...I'm more of a croissant guy. Dunkin Donuts has great croissants.

REPORTER (SURPRISED)

Really? Wow. How about that.

The reporter turns to the camera.

REPORTER

You're welcome, Dunkin Donuts.

OFFICER BLANKSKEY

Anyway, so I was sitting there and out of the sky falls a parachuter. And he landed in this crater right over here.

REPORTER

Holy crap. Is he okay?

OFFICER BLANKSKEY

I'm not sure. He's still down there.

GUY IN THE MASSIVE POTHOLE (YELLING)

I'm okay. Can you throw down a rope or something? And I'm kind of hungry. For some reason I can really go for a croissant. Throw me down a croissant.

REPORTER (TALKING TO THE CAMERA)

Well there you have it folks. Intentions were good on Good Intent Road. Orange cones and barriers were set up to block this really big pothole. But in the end no one took into account parachuters falling from the sky. They should name this road Good Intent Road...But Not Good Enough. I'm Stu Donaldson. Stay safe and watch out for holes.

- Ryan