Business Venture

I have an idea for a business. It's a business that specializes in business cards. We wouldn't just make your Plain Jane type of business cards. Oh no. Our cards would be...different; to the point that you won't even realize they're business cards. It would be called Terribly Unrealistic Biz Cards or TUB Cards for short.

The Origami Biz Card:
Though terribly impractical, the origami card is really really cool looking. We would offer an infinite amount of shapes. A dragon riding a segway? You got it. A carousel full of flying monkeys? No problem. An airplane? Umm, that's kind of boring. But, sure we can do that too. People won't forget you or what kind of business you got going on. Sure, they might not be able to fit it in their pockets. But I'm sure they'll find a place for it on their desk, right next to the pictures of their family and that stupid paper weight they got for their ten year anniversary with the company.

The Ninja Star (or Chinese Throwing Star) Biz Card:
This card would be a top seller. For one, it's really awesome. Secondly, it's super cool. Lastly, it's a god damn ninja star. This card would have many functions. But the best function would be what I like to call "You Just Got Ninja Starred" function. Say you just had a meeting with a potential client. Everything went well, and you part ways. Then all of a sudden, you realize that you didn't give the client one of your business cards. So you turn around and see the client in the distance. You reach into your briefcase and pull out one of your handy dandy Ninja Star business cards, then you throw it....target hit. Because of the adhesive on the ninja star, you were able to give your client a business card from a distance. Sure, it's stuck to the back of his suit jacket. But, that's okay. He'll be pleasantly surprised later on. "Surprise! You just got Ninja Starred! I hope we can get down to business soon :-)"

Sometimes it's hard to market yourself. It can be a real struggle getting your name out there. For instance, say there's a building that you just can't get into. For some reason the security guards always throw you out. With the Ninja Star Biz Card, you can reach people from across the street or even from the rooftops. Stick it to their windows if you have to.

Fortune Teller Biz Card:
This is a fun idea. Pick a number. 5? Okay. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Now pick another number. 2? Okay. 1,2. Fortune: Your future business endeavors will bring you great wealth. Try it again. Pick a number. 3? Okay. 1,2,3. Pick another number. 4? 1,2,3,4. Fortune: For a good job call 856-381-8977. You have to let people know that you can do a good job. Give them a sample. I guarantee they'll be calling you for more good jobs.

Poker Deck Biz Cards:
These business cards come in a full deck of playing cards; including the jokers which say, "We ain't jokin'." It even comes with a tiny booklet of magic tricks. It's kind of like a two in one deal. You can cleverly pull a business card out of a potential clients ear; among other places. It really depends on what kind of business they got going on. For example, "Come here Mr. Pimp, standing outside of a run down motel. Oh no. Where did this card come from? Wherever you want. Oh yeah, it's a business card too. That's right. Teach all of your prostitutes, I mean friends.
- Ryan