Nightmares?

What's considered a nightmare? A usual nightmare consists of me plummeting from the top of a building, but waking before I reach the asphault. Sometimes I'm being chased by a killer like Michael Myers. Not to be confused with the actor/comedian Mike Myers. That would be pretty scary too. Actually, that would be more random and weird than anything else. But realistically I would be the one chasing him; trying to get his autograph or something. For instance, picture him running away from me but he's not getting anywhere because he's running in place. And I come up beside him and suddenly I'm in his nightmare. Whoa! I just blew my own mind!

Once I had a nightmare. I was outside playing street hockey and out of nowhere Jason from Friday the 13th starts chasing me. I'm barely getting anywhere. He's practically gliding across the asphault like a figure skater about to land a triple axel transitioned into a triple salchow but with machetes for skates; like he's Happy Gilmore trying to stab me. He catches me. Suddenly he's dressed up like a goalie. He rips off his mask and to my amazement it's...actually I'm still amazed. Give me a second. It was none other than the legend himself, Ron Hextall. Now, I had no idea what Ron Hextall looked like but it said Hextall on the back of his jersey. So, it had to be him. Plus I googled his name and confirmed it. Anyway, he starts bashing my face in and smashing it into the boards that suddenly appeared in my front yard. One more smash to the face and I awake to complete darkness. Then I realize that my shirt is pulled over my head. I roll over to tell my fiancee (we'll call her Lady Gaga) about my nightmare but she's wearing a goalie's mask! Now I'm freaking out. So I take a minute to re-evaluate the situation. And then it hits me. We're totally into this sort of thing. This is how we get down. Last night she dressed up like a goalie and I tried scoring. And boy did I score...three times...hat trick...in three minutes. Who's the legend now? (Take that Ron Hextall)