Monday, March 4, 2013

Shit Revisited

        I can deal with someone calling me out for being a liar. I can deal with someone calling me out for being a sack of shit, on the rare chance that I am a sack of shit. However, I can't handle someone calling me a lying sack of shit. It's a double entendre. A double insult if you will, which doesn't sit well with me. It's like killing one bird with two stones--brutally excessive and covertly humorous. Actually, it's something of a quadruple entendre if there's such thing. It's quite befuddling. Let me break it down for you.

Lying sack of shit #1:

Dirty, rotten liar. This is the most obvious translation. Insulting? Yes. But it gets worse.

Lying sack of shit #2:

Lazy sack of excrement. So, basically, now I'm a "lying" sack of shit, which means I'm lounging around all of the time just stinking up the joint. It doesn't matter what kind of shit, because let's face it all shit stinks. So, in the end I'm a lazy sack of excrement.

Lying sack of shit #3

Mythical talking sack of shit that's very dishonest. This is what I call Absurdist Literal Expressionism. This one basically suggests that I'm a sack of shit that has the capability of telling fibs which means I can talk--mostly out of my ass. This sends me mixed feelings like, "This isn't possible. Now you're just insulting my intelligence, but tickling my fancy all at once. I always wanted to be a mythical creature. Hmm. Wait! This is ridiculous!"

Lying sack of shit #4

Possibly the worst of the four. This is where all four sides of the quadruple entendre dice are viewed. In this instance I'm a lazy, smelly, mythical sack of shit that likes telling fibs. Shit just got real...or really unreal.

        In a sense, there's always another insult within an insult, making it somewhat sophisticated in one respect and absolutely moronic in another respect. I'll choose to ignore the latter.

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