Saturday, October 5, 2013

The Inner Kid

I love it when people call you a "big kid" just because you feel like acting like a child every once in a while. God forbid. They make it sound like it's a bad thing, like you're Lenny from Of Mice & Men. It's not like you're going to tend to some rabbits and accidentally kill them.
        It's all about keeping in touch with your inner kid. So what if I get giddy when I think of eating an ice cream cone with jimmies on top down by the sea shore? And so what if it's accompanied by a silly little dance that looks like I really have to take a piss? And so what if I do have to take a piss, but I'm just holding it in because I'm really excited about eating some ice cream with jimmies down by the sea shore.
        So what if I attend a wedding and all I want to do is drink Shirley Temples, run around in circles chasing the other kids, and occasionally dance, sweating out large amounts of soda pop? Sometimes I just want to get that good old fashioned sugar high until I crash in the middle of the dance floor--but not before throwing up. If I drink alcohol and dance the night away, at some point I will throw up. So, either way, be it by an excess of alcohol or an excess of sugar, I'm going to throw up.
        So what if I want to ride a big wheel for old time sake? I wouldn't fit on one of course. But, with the right modifications I could fit and I could be the coolest "big kid" on the block. That's part of the proverbial dream along with finding Never Never Land and always, always being a Toys R Us kid (if I could type the backwards "R" I would).
        When you have kids, you can live vicariously through them, which is the ultimate pass for reliving your childhood. If you're a man, you secretly can't wait to have a son, so you can retrieve your box of action figures from underneath your bed that you've been hiding there for like, well, ever since you discovered girls. But, then you'll get pissed off when your 1 year old just wants to smash the action figures together. You'll try to teach him about finesse, capabilities of each action figure, spinning back kicks and such--but unlike the action figures, he won't be so easily controlled. So, you'll have to wait until he gets a little older. Then you can help him become the coolest kid on the block, which would make you the coolest "big kid" on the block--sort of like Robin Williams from the film Jack, but with less hair hopefully. Then there'll come a time when you realize that you're not a big kid. You're not a big kid at all. You're someone's father. But, maybe you'll be the best damn father on the block--the cool dad. We all have to become adults, but it doesn't mean we can't feel what it's like to be a kid again. We'll do the same things we used to do, except we'll do it with beers in our hands instead of Capri-Suns.

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