Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Body Consultant

I like to jot down notes in my notebook. Sometimes I go back and check out what I've written just to see if I stumble upon anything that's actually good. Here's an entry from sometime in March of 2013. It's quite the hidden gem.

The Body Consultant:

You can't trust someone who measures a space by how many bodies he can fit into it. I bet every mob has a guy that's in charge of such matters--probably called the Body Consultant. "With a trunk this size, you can fit 5 average sized people & one tall midget, easy." "You can fit 2 average sized people in the fridge and one fat midget in the freezer." "You can fit 15 Guatamalean midgets in here."

This just in: Two average sized guys got caught smuggling in 15 Guatamalean midgets in a 1990 Honda Civic Hatchback. The Guatamalean midgets were smuggling in fruit stuffed with cocaine....Actually you know what? It turns out they're not midgets. They're just 15 average sized Guatamaleans. They're naturally tiny people.

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