Thursday, December 19, 2013

This Is So Us: Driving to Meet a Friend

(This piece consists of both fictional & non-fictional material)

INT. CAR - DAY


AVA and BRIAN, a married couple, are on their way to meet a friend for lunch. Ava is driving. They're in mid-conversation.



BRIAN
Doug has nice hair.


AVA
I agree. It looks really nice when it's cut short.


BRIAN
Oh yeah? You think so? I kind of like it when he rocks it out and it gets all shaggy.


AVA
You just want to live vicariously through him.


BRIAN
Um, no. I live...through myself.


AVA
No...you don't.


BRIAN
Look, if I want to rock out my hair, then I'ma rock it out. I don't need to watch someone else rock their hair out and picture myself with their rocked out hair.


AVA
First of all, please stop referring to long hair as rocked out hair. Second of all, I'm the one who has to look at you. And trust me, it's not an easy task when your hair adds unnecessary volume to your otherwise abnormally large head.


BRIAN
Whoa...So you admit my hair has volume? I'm telling you, it's a nice head of hair. It's very full.

AVA
Yes, your head is very full.

BRIAN
Thank you.

AVA
You look more handsome when it's shorter and cleaned up though.

Brian puts down the sun visor and flips open the mirror.



BRIAN
I must agree...Oh no.

AVA
What's wrong?

BRIAN
I found a gray hair.

AVA
Here, I'll just pluck it out.

BRIAN
No! Pluck one, then five more grow in. That's a fact.

AVA
I don't think that's how it works. Let me get a good look at it. Oh hey, there it is. It's more white than gray. 

Ava attempts to pull it out.



BRIAN
Ouch! You pulled out the wrong hair! Now I'm going to need a hair plug! 

AVA
Relax.

BRIAN
Nope. This is all your fault anyway. You're the reason I have this gray hair. And now you want to give me more. Do me a favor and just keep your eyes on the road and your mangy mitts off of my busted mane.

AVA
Fine!

Ava and Brian sit in silence for a few moments. Suddenly, Ava is unable to contain her obsession with pulling out Brian's gray hair and attacks Brian. Brian turns, smashes his face against the window and screams like a woman.



FADE OUT:

2 comments:

  1. Wow, all that for a measly gray hair? What Brian doesn't realize is women think men with salt and pepper hair are sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're good with dialogue and this really is funny. --elestali

    ReplyDelete