Men are perverts. It’s true. There’s definitely something wrong with us. Even the really, really, really, really good guys have their moments. And trust me, I’m one of them. You’ll be driving down the road and see a girl jogging 200 yards away. Your initial reaction is to say something sleazy like, “Mmm girl!” moaning like you just enjoyed a delicious brownie--in fact you did. You wipe the crumbs off of your shirt because you're a slob.Then you begin talking like your favorite black entertainers. First you channel your inner Will Smith. “Don’t call me Mr. Rogers, but it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. You know what I’m sayin’? You know what I’m sayin’?” Then your Martin Lawrence comes out. “Deeamn Gina!” You don’t even know if her name is Gina. You don't even know who the hell she is. But, you continue to keep on, keep keepin' on. You start saying some really perverted stuff like, "Mmm girl, you got my crotch moaning and groaning. You got it groining. I just made up a new word. You make me want to be a rapper. For rizzle."
Quickly approaching, about 30 yards away, you say something like, "Awww yeah. Awww yeah. Awww...no. That's a man. That is a man with a pony tail." You're so disgusted with yourself. "I can't believe I misread that. I can't believe I thought this guy was a chick. I can't believe...how tone he is. He must do a lot of squats. Because you don't get an ass like that just by jogging. Good for him. Good for his ass."
You finally come within 20 feet of this guy. Then you realize, "Oh shit. I can't believe this...It's my Uncle Billy. Son of a bitch." Completely embarrassed and ashamed, you proceed to roll down the window, "Hey Uncle Billy! Lookin' good! You've been doing squats, haven't you? I knew it!" Then you turn to your wife who has been sitting next to you the whole time, "Say hello to Uncle Billy, honey." She just shakes her head and says, "There's something seriously wrong with you."
Quickly approaching, about 30 yards away, you say something like, "Awww yeah. Awww yeah. Awww...no. That's a man. That is a man with a pony tail." You're so disgusted with yourself. "I can't believe I misread that. I can't believe I thought this guy was a chick. I can't believe...how tone he is. He must do a lot of squats. Because you don't get an ass like that just by jogging. Good for him. Good for his ass."
You finally come within 20 feet of this guy. Then you realize, "Oh shit. I can't believe this...It's my Uncle Billy. Son of a bitch." Completely embarrassed and ashamed, you proceed to roll down the window, "Hey Uncle Billy! Lookin' good! You've been doing squats, haven't you? I knew it!" Then you turn to your wife who has been sitting next to you the whole time, "Say hello to Uncle Billy, honey." She just shakes her head and says, "There's something seriously wrong with you."
No comments:
Post a Comment