Thinkpad June 8, 2017

1. Those Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials are pretty ridiculous. But, now he thinks he can just chill in the back seat. Which begs the question, "Who the fuck is driving the car!?"

2. The other day someone asked me, "Whatchu 'bout to eat?" I said, "I'm about to eat a cheese stick." He was like, "You're going to eat a cheese dick?" And I said, "No. I said cheese dick. Shit!" He had me convinced that I was about to eat a cheese dick. "That's it, I'm switching to Babybel."

3. One time I was watching people run in a marathon. Then I thought to myself, "This would be so much more interesting if they were all wearing clown shoes."

4. Post-it Notes come in handy when you have to label your...Post-it Notes.

5. When you're wealthy, you drink fine wine with your girl at a fancy art gallery. When you're poor, you drink Boone's Farm with your girl, beside the railroad tracks and wait for a train to go by.

GIRL

I wonder what this artist is trying to say here?

GUY

It's graffiti. It literally says what it's trying to say. It says Deez Nutz. Don't read too much into it. Now, pass me the bottle.