The elevator doors open. Two guys, BLANKENSHIP & THOMPSON are standing there. MURPHY A.K.A. "MURPH" enters the elevator. The elevator door shuts.
MURPHY (in a ghetto voice)
What up Blank? What up Thomp-Son!?
BLANKENSHIP & THOMPSON (in a ghetto voice)
What up Murph?
MURPHY
Have you guys seen the new guy yet?
BLANKENSHIP
Who? Todd?
MURPHY
Yeah. That's the guy. Todd. Mr. my last name is too friggin difficult to pronounce, so people have to call me by my first name.
THOMPSON
Yeah. What a loser.
MURPHY (Mocking tone)
Look at me. Look at me. I'm the new guy. I have no friends
BLANKENSHIP
He's a sorry excuse for a human being.
All three guys laugh. The elevator doors open. TODD enters the elevator.
BLANKENSHIP, THOMPSON, & MURPH (Excited)
Yo! What up Todd?!
MURPH (Stoked)
Aha! My man!
TODD (Super stoked)
What up boys?!
THOMPSON
This is my stop. I'll catch you guys on the flip flop.
MURPH
Oh snap! No he didn't. You should be a rapper Thomp-Son! T-Son!
Thompson throws up a peace sign. The elevator doors closes.
MURPH
What an idiot.
BLANKENSHIP
He definitely shouldn't be a rapper. Yah mean? Boy just can't spit it.
TODD
I know. It's only my second day here and I already can't stand him. Mostly his face.
MURPH
Yeah. He scares off all the honies. We should make him take the stairs.
The elevator doors open. PEREZ enters the elevator.
BLANKENSHIP
What up P-Rez?
PEREZ
Chillin'.
Blankenship exits the elevator.
BLANKENSHIP
See you guys later. We'll do lunch. Who's up for enchiladas. P-Rez?
PEREZ
You know it!
MURPH
Alright dog. Hit us up.
TODD
Yeah man. Extension 3-4-3-6! (Holding up numbers like a gang sign)
BLANKENSHIP
Word!
The elevator doors close.
PEREZ
Racist son of a bitch. I'd like to travel back in time, right before his mom decided to concieve him, and slap her in the face with an enchilada.
TODD
I feel you man. But, I'm pretty sure that would have just provoked her. And today you'd have yourself a happy little accident named Blankenship. So, save your platonium.
MURPH
And yo, I ain't goin' to lunch with him. He never pays. And, he uses Bed Bath & Beyond coupons at the strip club.
PEREZ
He should know damn well that strippers ain't shoppin' at no B. B. & B.
MURPH
Hey Todd. Who's extension did you give him?
TODD
Thompson's.
MURPH
Nice!
The elevator doors open. Smith enters the elevator.
MURPH
What up Aero-Smiff?! My man!
Murph exits the elevator and stops the door from closing.
SMITH
Haha. There ain't gonna be any love in this elevator. That's for sure. Where are all the women at?
TODD
Thompson scared them off.
SMITH
He should take the stairs. Like, for real.
MURPH
Haha. Word. Hey, do you guys want to come to my office and do some double shots of espresso and YouTube it up? Just get crazy with it.
PEREZ
No dice my man.
SMITH
No can do. Todd and I have a meeting with the boss in like ten minutes.
MURPH
Oh. Ok. Aha! It's all good. We on for lunch?
TODD, PEREZ, SMITH
You know it.
MURPH
Aha! My dogs! (BARKING NOISES) Peace.
The elevator door closes.
(PAUSE)
TODD
What a friggin tool! Can I just say that?
PEREZ
If you didn't, I was. He should get a life.
SMITH
Yeah. He should have take the stairs. And if I have to hear one more Aerosmith or Will Smith reference, I'm gonna lose it. I wasn't West Philadelphia born and raised! I just wasn't!
The elevator doors open. Murphy is standing there. He looks pissed off.
SMITH
Murph! Murphy Brown. My man! What's shakin'...?
MURPH
Don't. Just don't. I heard everything. I forgot I had to go up to HR.
Murphy slowly walks into the elevator. The doors close. It's completely silent. Smith looks sympathetic.
SMITH
...West Philadelphia born and raised.
PEREZ
...On the playground is where I spent most of my days.
TODD
...Chilling out maxing relaxing all cool.
Murph smiles.
MURPH
And shooting some b-ball outside of the school.
They all harmonize together and sing the rest of the song.
SMITH
Look man. We're sorry. We didn't mean any of what we said about you.
MURPH
Apology accepted. Group bro hug?
SMITH, PEREZ, TODD
You bet.
They all hug. Then the elevator door opens. It's Cindy, an attractive brunette who they all fancy.
CINDY
Umm. I'll take the stairs.
MURPH, TODD, SMITH, PEREZ
No, no, no! Don't go, don't go!
The elevator doors starts closing.
MURPH
It's just a group bro hug! No big deal!
The elevator door closes.
FADE OUT:
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