Eavesdropping

INT. OFFICE - DAY

DON is leaning back in his chair. RICH walks up and they start shooting the shit. MARY is sitting a few feet away from DON. She's on the phone with a customer.

MARY (TALKING TO A CUSTOMER)

Let me double check that. I'll be right back.

Mary places her phone on her desk and exits the room.

DON

You know what I hate?

RICH

What do you hate?

DON

I hate customers who call and ask questions, but aren't prepared for the answers. I'll be like, "Yes sir, I can give you that web address. It's..." Then they interrupt me with, "Oh hold on one second. I just have to find something to write with and something to write on." A couple minutes pass; which feels like eternity, especially when it's completely silent. The only noise you hear is the sound of them searching through their junk drawer for a pen and paper. Then they finally find something to write with, but they still can't find anything to write on.

RICH

Umm hello. It sounds like there are plenty of things to write on in that junk drawer. Or just write it on yourself silly.

DON

I know right.

RICH

Which reminds me. Some chick wrote her number on me the other night. Can you check to see if it's still there.

DON

Isn't that something you can handle yourself?

RICH

She wrote it on my ass.

DON

I don't even want to know. But I would hope that the number wouldn't still be there. Anyway, where was I?

RICH

My ass. Just kidding. Junk drawer.

DON

Same difference. So this guy finally finds something to write on. I start giving him the web address, "usland..." and he tells me, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down." So I speak slower and read off the web address, "uslandrecords". I finish the uslandrecords part, pausing every few seconds mind you. Then I say, ".com" and he says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that again?" And I'm thinking to myself, "It's dot com you dipwod. You know, the most common ending to a web address?"

RICH

Yeah. You should have been like, "U" as in you are an idiot. "S" for stupid. "L" for loser.

DON (sarcastic)

Haha. Yeah. That totally would've been worth getting fired over.

Mary comes back to her desk, picks up the phone, and proceeds to talk to the customer. But, Don notices that she didn't have the customer on hold.

DON

Um Rich. Mary didn't have that customer on hold.

RICH

So that customer heard everything we just said?

They both pause for a moment.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

Don and Rich are standing by their cars with boxes full of their belongings.

DON

Definitely not worth it.

RICH

No.

FADE OUT:

-Ryan