Appropriate Inappropriateness

I'm not a big fan of filmmakers using inappropriateness just for the sake of being inappropriate. However, sometimes inappropriateness is super appropriate. It can add a much needed shock value to your shabby script. It will make your film unshabby...without shab…shabless. I often find that filmmakers miss their mark when trying to convey certain emotions on screen. They think that extreme means beating something into the ground like beating a dead horse; literally. Why beat a dead horse? Why beat a horse at all? This film has nothing to do with horses. But hey, let’s beat a dead horse anyway (much like this rant about beating dead horses). There’s something respectable about being subtle; like beating around the bush. I mean, how big can the bush be, really? You’ll eventually make it around and everything will come full circle like a Quentin Tarantino film. However, I wouldn’t suggest beating a dead horse around a bush. That’s just unnecessary and really time consuming. Moreover, nothing good will ever come from killing two birds with one stone. Sure, you could achieve success and popularity. And, they might even build a statue of you and present it in the town square. However, one day a flock of birds will fly over your statue and shame the memory of you with their shit. If only these so called filmmakers would come to me before shitting on their own films (not in the literal sense, but hey, I don't know what people do on their free time).

Utilizing Appropriate Inappropriateness in Film:

 Some films rely heavily on long choreographed fight scenes. But they're usually too milk toast (extremely mild) for my taste. Sure, any movie can showcase two jacked dudes doing some fancy dance kung fu. However, it gets to a point where it's hard to differentiate the Asian man from, well, the other Asian man. In other words, combat in film is pretty mundane and is in dire need of a revolution. That’s where I come in. Let’s just say (for the sake of proving my superiority) a standard cinema fight consists of two dudes (a hero and a villain) fighting in the middle of Times Square. Yeah, I know, it’s pretty typical. Now let me propose my film (which is just an example, something I came up with on the fly, but really, really awesome).

Film name: Citizen Flak (working title).

Premise: The main character’s name is Flak (because he takes flak from everyone). He’s a 6’5”, muscular orderly that works at a senior home. He’s the kindest, gentlest man with a parted haircut (the kind he’s had since he was two years old). He is sort of like Lenny from Of Mice and Men, but he’s really intelligent and doesn’t kill things with his bare hands (or does he?). And that’s just the thing; Flak is incapable of hurting anyone. However, that’s precisely what he’s confronted with at the end of the film; which leads to the final fight scene.

Appropriate Inappropriateness: It becomes apparent that Dr. Sisemen (pronounced Sy-semen) is running illegal tests on all of the senior citizens. There is a pivotal moment where Flak witnesses Dr. Sisemen performing unethical experiments. However, it takes Flak realizing that Dr. Sisemen’s name is “nemesis” spelled backwards for him to do anything about it. In the end Flak has to save his grandfather from being turned into a zombie. The only thing standing between Flak and Dr. Sisemen are twenty crazed senior citizen zombies. Dr. Sisemen says to Flak, “Get the hell out of here Flak and scrub some bed pans.” And Flak replies, “No. I ain’t taking anymore flak from you or anybody else. Did you hear me Dr. Sisemen? No more Flak. The name’s Bob…Call me Bob.” “Okay, Bob. Get the hell out of here and go scrub some bed pans,” replies Dr. Sisemen. Flak conveys a smidgen of anger by ripping off his own shirt. Then he charges at Dr. Sisemen, all the while punching every senior citizen zombie in the brain (in slow motion). In the end Flak saves his grandfather and not to mention the whole world.

As you can see, the inappropriateness of Flak punching the senior citizens in the face is very much appropriate for the story. Furthermore, the character development is undeniably extraordinary and mind-blowing.


- Ryan