Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Drink up

To Go Coffee Lids:

Not every place/convenient store has a convenient coffee lid. And that's part of the reason for a To Go Coffee Cup isn't it? It's all about the convenience. But it ends up being an inconvenient convenience. Or a convenient inconvenience. However you want to slice it. Mmm, slice it. That makes me think of pie and pie would go really well with this coffee. Actually, hold the pie. Scratch that, don't even touch it. Put it down if you are holding it. We're talking coffee lids right now. What I'm trying to say is that it's like having a convenient store smack dab in the middle of the ghetto. You'll soon find out that it's not very convenient at all. That's just false advertisement. Convenience with a complimentary bullet in your ass, that's what that is.

Anyway, not all To Go Coffee Cup lids are created equal. Sometimes you get the white lid with the flappy thingy.




The flappy thingy folds back and is supposed to keep the opening open.





And when you decide that you want to cover the opening because you don't want bugs or dust getting in, you should be able to push the flappy thingy back down. But as we all know these lids are full of malfunctions. Sometimes the flap won't work either way: open or closed. So, it'll be stuck there mid-flap.



Therefore you're forced to push the flap back with your finger or your mouth while drinking. Sometimes the flap will be in open mode, seemingly secured to the top of the lid. You pick up the cup and proceed to take a sip. Then, just as you tilt the cup, the flap comes undone and you're stuck with the flap in your mouth and coffee running down your shirt.

Yes. It's true. I am a victim of poorly manufactured lids. I can't show you the damage because it's quite serious. What's a guy to do? Should I go around wearing coffee colored shirts in case I happen to get a shoddy coffee cup lid and spill it on myself? No. Because there are many shades of coffee and I can't commit to just black or creamer. Instead, I'm going to start a movement called Occupy Poorly Manufactured To Go Coffee Cup Lids. We would set up shop outside of a Starbucks. Then we'd get coffee from Dunkin Donuts and stand inside of Starbucks with our Dunkin Donuts coffee cups in hand. The expressions on our faces will convey a, "Do something. You won't." kind of attitude. Actually, that'll be our slogan: Do Something. You won't. And we'll use their free wifi. That'll show 'em.

I started using a stainless steel & plastic travelling coffee cup. It turns out that my new coffee cup took care of business for me. It's the weirdest thing, but I managed to record it on my camera. However, I had to slow it down in order to see what actually happened. Take a look.

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