1. As of today, "H" to the "O" or "H" to the "IZO" will be an abbreviation for Hall & Oates. No longer will it have a negative connotation. Instead, it will be used to celebrate great American music, mullets, Jheri curls, and carefully groomed mustaches. Cool hipsters, frat boys, emo kids and dirty hippy kids alike will be shouting "H to the O!", in hopes that a DJ will make their dreams come true; because everyone has to get their jam on. Take that Jay-Z.
2. It makes me sad to think that the hardest Neil Diamond will ever rock is when he plays Sweet Caroline. Led Zepplein, for example, have heavy rocking songs like Black Dog, Communication Breakdown, and Stairway to Heaven, among many other killer tunes. But Neil has Sweet Caroline, Cherry Cherry, and Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show. Well, I guess it isn't so bad. Neil should know that Sweet Caroline will live on; probably in the basement of a fraternity house, being torn to bits vocally by our drunken youth, our future. But, atleast they'll be rocking the shit out of it.
3. I feel like I can't get away from Kevin Bacon. I was listening to Bad Company's I feel like making love. But all I could hear was, "I feel like Bacon love...Kevin Bacon love."
4. I came across a name the other day and it was Wildonger.
5. I started reading a book about ninjas (or Ninja). I was a few sentences in and it said, "Always conceal your ninja identity (or something like that)." I immediately shouted, "Aww hell no! Fuck that" and roundhouse kicked that book right in it's preface; because if I'm a ninja, people are going to fucking know it. Boom!
6. Why do British people think they're so special? They think because they use the word "brilliant", it makes them sound brilliant. But, sadly, it does not. I could say that when I go home I'm going to take a brilliant shit and wipe my brilliant ass with my brilliant toilet paper. However, it wouldn't fit any translation of the word "brilliant":
a. shining brightly; sparkling; glittering; lustrous: the brilliant lights of the city.
b. distinguished; illustrious: a brilliant performance by a young pianist.
c. having or showing great intelligence, talent, quality, etc.: a brilliant technician.
d. strong and clear in tone; vivid; bright: brilliant blues and greens; the brilliant sound of the trumpets.
e. splendid or magnificent: a brilliant social event.
noun
And if somehow one or more of these definitions describes what your shit looks like, then yes your shit is brilliant.
7. My co-worker just said, "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" And I replied, "No! I don't shit for anyone but myself. Maybe you should do your work instead of demanding shit from people."
8. The wink: I say embrace the wink. Whomever graces your face with a wink, take it as a compliment. It doesn't matter if it comes from a creepy molester guy, coincidentally named Chester, with a John Oates mustache, beer gut, and a flat ass which inevitably leads to some ass cleavage. Just be glad that Chester thinks you're a catch. And find comfort in the fact that Chester will always have your back, be it in prison or in a dark alley. You could be singing at an open mic night and you know that Chester will be there cheering you on; even if you can't see him because he's camouflaged into the walls.
9. Lucy: A cute name that Beatles fans give their children.
10. I want to start an Asian Neil Young cover band called Neil Yong. If there are any other Asians out there that are interested, just let me know.
f. Jewelry . a gem, especially a diamond, having any of several varieties of the brilliant cut.
g. Printing . a size of type about 3 1 / 2 -point.
And if somehow one or more of these definitions describes what your shit looks like, then yes your shit is brilliant.
7. My co-worker just said, "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" And I replied, "No! I don't shit for anyone but myself. Maybe you should do your work instead of demanding shit from people."
8. The wink: I say embrace the wink. Whomever graces your face with a wink, take it as a compliment. It doesn't matter if it comes from a creepy molester guy, coincidentally named Chester, with a John Oates mustache, beer gut, and a flat ass which inevitably leads to some ass cleavage. Just be glad that Chester thinks you're a catch. And find comfort in the fact that Chester will always have your back, be it in prison or in a dark alley. You could be singing at an open mic night and you know that Chester will be there cheering you on; even if you can't see him because he's camouflaged into the walls.
9. Lucy: A cute name that Beatles fans give their children.
Loosey: A trashy name a hooker gives her unborn child after she just bummed a cigarette off of her baby daddy a.k.a. pimp .
10. I want to start an Asian Neil Young cover band called Neil Yong. If there are any other Asians out there that are interested, just let me know.
- Ryan
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