Insurance

Insurance is important. Especially when you have children. I'm not talking about medical insurance. I'm talking about embarassing blackmail, I've been saving this for the right moment kind of insurance. My kids won't stand a chance. Take Halloween for instance. Say I have a daughter. I would dress her up in a shiny golden ring costume. Then I would dress up like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. I know what you're thinking. "That's cute." Yep. "That's precious." You know it. "That's creepy and weird." Now we're talkin'. When she's a teenager and acts up, I can go to the vault, take out this picture and say, "You want to make a mess and spill paint in the garage? This is what you get. Boom!" Then I would show the picture to all of her friends and that toolbag Sebastian that she has a crush on. Sure, it might even be a little embarassing for me. But that's a small price to pay for satisfaction. I mean good parenting.