The Original Auto-tuner

Welcome to the age of auto-tune. Because of this convenient technology, any pathetic, starry eyed, delusional idiot can sing. However, the more auto-tuned your voice gets, the more you sound like a robot. But, that's beside the point.

Auto-tune has been around for quite some time. K-Ci & JoJo got pretty heavy into the auto-tune sound. However, they could actually sing, very well I might add. So, they used this effect solely for the sound, not for it's vocal healing powers. However, "artists" such as T-Pain and Lil Wayne probably use it for both the sound and the enhancement.

Right now I would like to delve further into the history of auto-tune; back to the origins. It is my belief that the birth of auto-tune took place smack dab in the middle of 1970s rock n roll. One Mr. Peter Frampton chopped through the conventions of popular music with his axe and a little gadget called a talk box. This mechanism basically auto-tuned Frampton's vocals to the notes that he played on his guitar; thus creating the artifical, robotic auto-tune sound.

INT. THE FRAMPTON SECRET LAIR- NIGHT

Peter Frampton is glued to his computer screen. He's watching rap videos on YouTube. The only light in the room is coming from the computer screen.

FRAMPTON (talking with his talk box)
I can't believe these talentless nincompoops. I invented this sound! Bloody savages rehashing my innovative soniferous technology and might I say genius Framptonian sound. Lil Wayne and T-Pain ain't nothing but a lil pain in my ass. What's this? Lil Wayne is performing this Saturday. I'll show him.

Frampton laughs like a mad scientist (using his talk box).

CUT TO:

INT. STADIUM - NIGHT

Lil Wayne is performing on stage.

LIL WAYNE
Haha yeah! Haha yeah! Say what? Yo, check it. 1, 2. Here we go. Yal ready for this? Uhh! Uhh! Is you wit me now? Is you wit me now? Uhh! Haha! Said is you wit me now? I'ma do this.

All of a sudden a mysterious voice comes through the speakers.

FRAMPTON (talk box/auto-tune)
Do you feel like I do?

The music stops.

LIL WAYNE
Who the f*** is that?!

FRAMPTON
Do you feel like I do ew ew ew? Awww that's true!

Then the spotlight finds the man with the mysterious voice, Mr. Peter Frampton. He's hanging from a wire in the middle of the stadium. It's slowly bringing him down towards the stage.

LIL WAYNE
Aww hell naw! Frampton? Again?

Lil Wayne pulls a gat out of his pants. His crew of musicians pull out their gats which are taped to the inside of the bass drum, under the keyboard, and inside the afros of the back up dancers.

FRAMPTON
Pull me up!!!

A bullet goes right through the wire. Frampton falls to the floor. The place gets silent. So silent you could hear the sound of a bullet shell hit the floor. Suddenly there is a voice, a voice that breaks out of the silence.

FRAMPTON (in severe pain)
Do you feel like I do?

The crowd goes wild.

FRAMPTON (still in pain)
Aww that's true.

Lil Wayne chimes in with sincerity.

LIL WAYNE
Yal feel like I do? Aww yeah uh that's the truth (pronounced troof).

The bouncers drag Frampton onto the stage and they bring him out a wheel chair. For the next two songs Frampton relives his glory days and jams his little heart out; until he tries to rock out a ten minute guitar solo. Then Lil Wayne wheels his ass off the stage.

LIL WAYNE
Damn honky.

There is no love lost though. They still FaceBook each other to this very day.



- Ryan