Quit Your Day Job

There are other options as far as jobs go. Realistically, you could quit your day job and be perfectly happy doing something else. You could take two seemingly unrelated things and mash them together to make one extraordinary job.

1. A yodeling gigolo.
2. A skatting stoop sweeper on skates; conveniently cleanly yet surprisingly daring.
3. A street mime psychiatrist
4. A sign holder on a corner advertising a yodeling gigolo while giving someone a foot massage with his feet.
5. A zoo keeper wrestling a lion...cub...with his thumbs at a charity event for rescued kittens.
6. A guy dressed up like a mattress, advertising mattresses at a charity event in a run down motel next to a strip club.
7. A guy donating blood...in a night club called A Cave...or was it a cave called a night club?...Now you're a vampire.
8. A street musician who uses his ass cheeks for bongos all the while mooning pedestrians.
9. A crack-head getting his fix while staring at the ass cheek-bongo player.
10. A guy picking his nose while playing the lottery.
11. A carnie juggling two balls while...juggling two balls.
12. A ninja dressed up as a pirate at a Pirates of the Caribbean themed party.
13. A pirate dressed up like a ninja at a ninja clan meeting...tap dancing...sound of peg leg on a hard wood floor...dead pirate.


- Ryan